Saturday, September 7, 2013

Okay, Cupid. Okay.

I'm moving back to NYC in 3 weeks. Pretty much since I moved back to Texas almost a year ago, I have wanted to go back, it has been just a matter of when and how.

I have a feeling this time will be much more successful.

Close to 4 months ago  I got off of the Appalachian trail, ended a year+ long relationship, and had no idea where I was going next. I took a bus to NYC to stay for a few days.  It was in my last few days in NYC that I figured out a living situation in Austin to take place 2 weeks later. While in NY, I ended up able to teach a little bit of yoga, work at my old job, and see old friends. Including, meeting a new friend.

When I lived in NYC, I created an OkCupid account (yeah, yeah I am one of those online dating weirdos). Not really in hopes of  a romantic relationship, but just to meet exciting people and do fun things in the city. I think the entire time I was in NYC, I met two people from the site.

One who was moving the next day out of the city into the country because he was a writer and couldn't focus in the city. He was incredibly bitter about New York and wished me luck in a hissing voice. I thought he was crazy. Not loving New York? Come on. Fail.

 The second date was with a very flighty, whim wisher, acid tripping type, who reminded me of an ex, which I found unsettling and unwelcome at the time. Fail...However, he did enlighten me on the fact that you do not need a visa to visit Nepal. Awesome!

After those two experiences, I realized OkCupid was a waste and spending time in the city alone was more beneficial and productive. So I forgot about the account and went on with my life.

I remembered my account on my 10day NYC trip in early May. This was the trip to the city after I left the trail and had newly found my single self again. Happy and inspired. Inquisitive about life again. Feeling very much myself. 

Again, I thought it would be fun to meet a stranger and just chat. I signed in, responded to a few messages, and soon enough I had plans to meet a guy who seemed quite interesting for tea. He was a Cancer, had The Prophet on his list of favorite books, was interested in personal growth and spirituality, and by the looks of his pictures was incredibly good looking, and seemed to know how to have a good time.

With little emphasis on the meeting, I ended up blowing him off and not showing up to our first "date". I didn't think much of it and life continued on. A few days later, with a proper apology, we decided to try again.

It is a damn good thing we did. I'm moving in with him in 3 weeks.

Double you-tee-eff. WTF.

So lets back up just a bit. The meeting is important. The first look is important. The feeling in that first moment is important. If you have ever read Malcolm Gladwells book, Blink or Ori and Rom Brafman's book, Click: The Magic of Instant Connections or any other book or essay that acknowledges and gives merit to first gut reactions, maybe you will get it. I hope you have felt it before or eventually do. It's a bit like lucid dreaming. I hope you experience that too.

Sometimes you just know.

These are our instincts. These feelings are real. Our minds cannot exactly comprehend them, but our bodies react accordingly. Maybe that is why falling in love feels like you are losing your mind...because you are. Brain off. Heart and body on. Oh shit!

Lets delve into the science of this phenomenon. Please read this article. It's so great!

So after this one hour tea date with this new hottie, I walked away in a total tizzy! If I remember correctly, we were texting each other half way down the block asking each other "Excuse me, what just happened there?" We met once more for lunch before I moved back to Austin.

For the last 4 months those two hours have been our inspiration to maintain a long distance relationship with one another. One 5 day visit to Austin, one 7 day visit to NYC. A ridiculous number of text messages, phone calls, skype sessions, facebook conversations, a few written letters, and nonstop telepathy.

Part of me feels like I have no idea what I am doing, but the bigger and wiser woman knows that this is exactly the path. It's energetic and must be the right way. I heard once that The Fool was actually the wisest character in the entire Tarot. Fools seem to take chances. To go for it. To risk it is to win it! Even if it results in a new direction. Isn't that the point?

My mind still cannot quite fathom this new direction. Mainly, because I wasn't looking for it. I was just looking to have a good time on vacation. But I found something much more meaningful than just a memory on vacation.

I love Adam. Loving Adam is easy. Being understood by Adam is easy. I can be exactly who I am with him in every single moment. All shades of crazy and all shades of simply wonderful. No more of having to live in a "safety" range, or fearing that my partner won't be able to handle me if I am 100% myself. My spectrum of emotion and being is far too colorful to live in black and white.

So, it's a very simple decision really.

Just a choice to follow who and where makes my heart happy. Happiest, I should say. Happiness is ever present...but life is much more fun and exciting with a loquacious, electronic dance raving, hilarious, sensitive and sexy Jew to hold hands with.

Mazel, mazel baby!
And thank you Cupid!

Your arrow is shooting me in the most perfect direction. 

1 comment:

  1. candice this is so beautiful. I love the loving adam is easy part, and I am so happy you found someone to be your total complete self with. That is all anyone can ever ask for, and it's the hardest thing to find. Million congrats to you two :) -Emma