Friday, May 25, 2012

Life Unraveling and the Changing of Temperature

 Hot day: fast flow, warm, sunny, bright, positive, hot and bothered in a great way.

Hi all. I am enjoying NYC a lot. A LOT. I feel like I have experienced so much in very little time. Cool art openings. Lots of navigating. Took a hiking trip upstate.

Life unravels quickly here. It's great. 3 days after I got here, I had an interview at Pushcart Coffee...2 days later I was hired...and then a day later I started training. And today I had my first full shift. I'm excited about the Stumptown coffee tour and training I will get to do in Brooklyn soon. Brooklyn Brewery tour will be soon too. Not work related, however.

Everything is so damn local here! I learned today that the gentleman that makes the ice cream we sell in the shop lives in the neighborhood. That's amazing!

Also, I get to make a trip up to Harlem next week to finish a NY food handlers permit. I organized it, so I can also go to the Bronx Zoo (which is free that day).

There is so much to be inspired by here. Finding space and time to express it is the test.

Things I am learning:
-My happiness has little to do with location. I think I could go anywhere and be happy.
-There are people here that remind me of people from Texas and home. And it makes the world feel united and small. And maybe we don't vary as much as we think we do from others.


Cold day: bitter, blue, little flow, raising voice, cursing lots.

The writing above was from yesterday. Yesterday was much more optimistic. Today tasted a bit sour, stale, and stagnant. Another side of the city, or maybe just life.

I found out today that I am actually not graduated. To save time and energy, I will just say that I am 3 hours shy of graduating. This should have been brought to my attention months ago from my adviser, whom I met with a few times...whatever...I actually never want to talk about this again until I finish that last class...

So now I am in a process of trying to take a special problems painting class via correspondence. I will know shortly if it will work out.

If anything, I think I realized my agony of the idea of having to move back and finish up 1 semester. A chapter is pending here. Today was a day of utter discouragement, pride shattering, and a few troubleshooting strategies. And realizing how much I really do like it here.

I also realized that being around people I love when I am angry, is awful. But this also makes me ask why I or WE try to hide the really fiery emotions? Carl Jung reminded us of our shadow selves, and the many avenues of good lessons and light that can pass through when we look at our shadows in the eye, sword in hand, and get to work.

I'm still in the blindfolded in the dark phase and cannot really see the benefit or wisdom of this particular obstacle. At least yet.

So today I just let myself be mad and did what I could to remedy it. Anger and tears of frustration. I can still feel the steam under my skin.

Yet again, I will just trust it. ALL of it. Surrendering whatever I need to. Okay, fine. I will relinquish control, and just watch.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Acclimation Participation

Howdy, from NYC. I made it, we made it. When we (Eric and I) arrived it was a bit rainy and dreary, yet the city still stole my affection. I have pondered a new time ratio...or at least some kind of new time perception...

1 Texas day=3 NYC days (at least!)

The amount of new faces, different subways, new languages, new cultures I am embedded in are uncountable. I LOVE IT.

I have never needed to cultivate such grounding and centering in my life as I feel necessary here. Quite a change I embarked on. My yoga practice is my solid place, oh my. I am so thankful for Ashtanga and now more than ever, it is my deepest home. My practice reminds me of home, and it feels comfortable. STABLE. Even in a new studio and new teacher, which by the way, are both extraordinary lovely and kind. I knew she was a good fit when she said , "See you tomorrow, right?!"

Encouragement. A sweet reminder of where the party is really at.

All of this acclimating and adjusting feels great. I just never know here. Always on my tip-toes. I know it's only been 3 days, if that, but remember to me this is about 9 days worth of grooving. Today, I almost got smacked with a basketball when I was getting on the subway to leave Williamsburg to come home. I swear I could feel the little braille like bumps on the b-ball slide on my cheek! I gotta just groove with it and participate.

A few more observations:
**Getting lost=finding cool new alternate routes. Or a sinking pit of doom-like feeling until I figure out where the F i am.
**Walking in Times Square area when I am starving creates a heat wave of agitation that I have never felt before. Luckily, there are grocery stores and coffee shops every which way. SAVED!
**The planning mind is really helpful here. Really. Really. Really.
**My I-phone is a heaven sent device created by all the gods that you and i both worship! (I never thought I would say that) everrrrrr.


It's time to start organizing my route for a interview I have!! Super excited about this. Interview with a coffeeshop hip place in the lower east village.

Distance: 3.87 miles
Estimated time: 43 minutes

HOW AWESOME IS THAT. 43 minutes worth of soaking up information, developing Hippocampus skills, and total adventure.

Please universe, keep aligning your stars. OUR stars.

Sincerely Texan,


p.s i love you.